"In Sickness and In Health"

You know, being married to the same person for a long time can put you in a very comfortable, take them for granted place. Well, Dave has traveled some over the many years we've been married (21+), but I had never been so excited for him to get home as I was this time. We've got a solid marriage, not perfect, but we love each other very much and have learned over the years not to take each other for granted. We're a team and we work well as a team. Back when we were dating, we'd always talk about just spending our lives together, raising a family, retiring, growing old together, getting that cabin in the mountains, sitting on the porch, enjoying the view.

Well, when I was 9 weeks pregnant with our 2nd son, Kyle, Dave had a benign brain tumor. I think this was one of those times in our marriage where we realized that our plans may not work out the way we thought they would. Fortunately, Dave had a fine surgeon that removed the tumor, there was some damage to his pituitary gland, but all in all, we were fortunate. Over the years, Dave has remained on some medications as a result of his pituitary gland being damaged, but he's been relatively healthy.

Fast forward seven and a half years and Dave gets the diagnosis of Myxoid Liposarcoma (Stage 3 - Malignant). This is a whole new beast and he's going in for the fight of his life. Sarcomas are rare, aggressive tumors that like to spread. His was a huge soft tissue mass on his left thigh, fortunately for us it hadn't spread, but he was going to be put through some of the roughest chemo possible to shrink the tumor and kill the cells before the doctor would remove the mass. So, like I said, we're about to get to the end of his journey, his surgery is about 3 weeks away, and then I go in for my mammogram.

I've had small health issues during the course of our marriage, but nothing major. Well, now, finding out I have breast cancer, I suddenly have something significant and I just see this in Dave's eyes when he got home from his trip that he realized, he wasn't the only one in the fight for their life now. A friend of his had lost his wife to breast cancer...I think it became very real to him when he came home from his trip and we were together how much we appreciated one another.

Dave's been an amazing rock for me and he has such a great attitude, I know that my prognosis, no matter what it is, I'll get through it, with him by my side (even if he's on crutches).

Dave's Surgery Gets Rescheduled

Well, my week is going as well as can be expected. I miss Dave but we're speaking when we can while he's on his trip. I am happy he can see his team down there, have a nice "break" from all the cancer "stuff" he's gone through since August and have some time down in the nice warm temps.

During the day I receive a phone call from Dave's surgeon's assistant and she tells me that there is a conflict and Dave's surgery needs to get rescheduled. This turns out to be a blessing for us, because little did we know, but we'd need the extra week. So, Dave's surgery is now set for Wednesday, March 18th. We're both relieved that we'll have a little more time between my lumpectomy and his tumor removal.

Pre-Op and a Girl's Day Out

Bright and early Wednesday morning, I get picked up by my friend, Gwyn, to go to the hospital for pre-op. This turns out to be a breeze, no blood draws, a quick meeting with the nurse anesthetist and I'm set for my procedure the following Wednesday. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight before surgery, yada, yada, yada....

Gwyn tells me that she's mine for the day, let's do something fun, go out to lunch, catch a movie, go shop, whatever I want to do...so, hmm, I have to go to a Mall? I'm not a Mall person, I don't know why, I've just never really liked to shop...I can't spend hours looking for deals, going through racks of stuff, nope, I go in, find what I need and leave. Well, I do mention that I'd like to check out the Croc Outlet Store at Discover Mills, Bryce needs some new Crocs...and there's a movie theater there. So we go to the Croc Store, I find 2 pairs for myself, one for Bryce and she also makes so good purchases. We then walk around, find that the movie we're interested in isn't playing there, but do stay and go to Chili's for lunch. Ah, it is nice just to be out with a friend, no kids, having nice adult conversation...nice day so far.

After lunch, Gwyn asks if I wouldn't mind heading back to the Croc store...she's going to pick up some more for some family members...no problem. I got what I needed earlier so I just sit out front, check messages, etc. and she shops some more (see, I really am not a good shopper!) We end up needing to go to yet ANOTHER mall to see the movie we wanted (Slumdog Millionaire)...so, for me, I'm fine with that, why not break a record on my girl's day out? Two malls in one day is unheard of for me, but I'm enjoying being driven around, so we're off to the Mall of Georgia...we walk around, see the movie (which I recommend if you haven't seen it) and by 6:00 pm, I'm beat!

I appreciated my day out with Gwyn, she's a good friend and it meant a lot to me for her to be with me. I know it sounds silly, but, I usually don't "take a day off" like this, so I am glad she had the foresight to know just what I needed!

I came home to see my boys and my Mom, they hadn't missed me too much, but I know they were glad I was home and I was glad to be home...I was tired after my day out!

Back to See Dr. Martin

Well, let's see what's happened over the weekend. Oh, I turned 45 this past Saturday...had a nice evening eating dinner with friends at an awesome Mexican restaurant....what else could I ask for? That was a nice evening and took my mind off of things for a while...we enjoyed some good food and Texas margaritas and headed home.

Dave left for Costa Rica early the next morning for business. I encouraged him to keep his plans and go on the trip because this was really the only time he could go (between his radiation and his surgery which was scheduled for 3/11/09). So, Dave left early Sunday morning, the boys and I got up and went to church. My mom came down to spend a few days with me and the boys while Dave was on his trip. She watched the boys that afternoon so I could attend the Cancer Support group meeting at our church. I am so glad I went to this meeting. I planned to let them know about Dave's progress and his upcoming surgery. I also shared with them that a mass had been discovered during a routine mammogram and I was going in the next day to find out the results of the biopsy. I met some neat women who are Breast Cancer Survivors and immediately formed a bond. I find that women share things easily and even at this early stage in my journey, I know it's important to get support of those who have already walked in my shoes...I'm thankful for my new friends.

So, onto Monday and my appointment with Dr. Martin. My mom is with me for support since Dave is out of town. We're in the room waiting for the doc and he comes in with my file. The news arrives pretty quickly that the pathology report came back from the biopsy and they are 99% sure that the mass in my right breast is cancer. The mass needs to come out along with a sentinel node to see if the cancer has spread. The doctor knows of Dave's upcoming surgery and they see what they can arrange for me. They schedule me for a lumpectomy for the following Wednesday, March 4th. I'm relieved it's not too far off in the future, and I'm glad that Dave will be back in town.

Dave had the foresight to get a Skype account so we could talk on the phone while he was out of town. It was difficult being apart during this week and comforting to hear his voice. Even though we had been dealing with his cancer for more than 6 months, we were both shocked that I was actually receiving news that I too was becoming a cancer patient. What are the odds? What would we tell the boys? So many questions that would be answered in time and again, just needing to take one day at a time, not worry about the future and take the bull by the horns and deal with it.

MRI with Contrast

So, it's 6:50 AM and I'm heading over for my MRI. Traffic is a breeze, good thing I'm not on the interstate...I hate the stress of driving in Atlanta traffic. So, anyway, I get to the Glancy Outpatient Center and get checked right in. If it weren't for an emergency room patient that came in right before me, my MRI would have happened right on time. Instead, I had to wait about an hour...but that was alright, I was just thankful to be seen so soon after my appointment the previous day. So, I'm waiting to get my MRI and they need to get a needle in my vein for the contrast. Well, I evidently have very uncooperative veins that are hard to find, and once the needle goes in, the vein likes to roll. I also hurt the feelings of the technician who had a reputation of ALWAYS getting the needle in on the first try. Nope, THREE tries later and he FINALLY gets the needle in the vein.

I finally get back to the room with the MRI machine and they get me set up. Like my cousin, Ali, who also went through breast cancer in the last year and a half, put it, I get put in the "Superman" position, laying face down, boobs hanging through a rectangular opening and told to try to breathe slowly. For the first 20 minutes they are taking films, and then the second 20 minutes, they pump the contrast through my veins to get the better picture (I'm assuming). Well, after 40 minutes or so, laying face down, the MRI is done. Thank God...my face has impressions on it from resting on the Styrofoam layer...ugh. Oh well, at least they are finished.
Since I'm over near the Duluth area, I head over to Trader Joe's. What an awesome diversion, I love that store and just wish there was one closer to where we live. Oh well, I pick up a few things and head home. I'm figuring this is just the beginning of lots of tests and procedures and need to take things in stride and one day at a time.

Meeting with the surgeon

Well, I've got to say that this was probably one of the longest weeks for me on record. The day I got home from my Mammogram(s), I called my GYN's office and spoke with his nurse, Karen. There are some benefits of living somewhere and having the same doctor for 21 years. They know me well, being with me when I miscarried back in '96, Dr. Hood delivered Bryce and Kyle after 6 years of infertility, Dr. Hood also took a special interest in me because of Dave's history (brain tumor when I was pregnant with Kyle and now Dave's Liposarcoma), so I guess my doctor knows me and his nurse, Karen, is just a great gal.

So, she recommended a general surgeon, one that she would use herself, Dr. Wallace Martin. She also gave me the names of some other very reputable groups in the Atlanta area, but with everything going on with Dave, I am weary of the time on the interstate, she thought Dr. Martin's office would be great. He has the reputation of being a breast doctor, telling us that even a few weeks prior to my visit, he performed 8 lumpectomies in one day! I did enjoy seeing him and meeting his staff. His PA, Ruth Ann, actually had worked 15 years ago, with Dave's orthopedic oncologist, Dr. Dave Monson...it is a small world.

Dr. Martin examined me and right then and there in his office did a needle biopsy. I've got to tell you I wasn't really ready for this...and no lidocaine or any numbing agents...I just got to squeeze Dave's hand very, very hard. The size of the mass concerned Dr. Martin and he wanted to find out what this was. When we told him about Dave's upcoming surgery and his battle with Liposarcoma, Dr. Martin and his office were incredibly accommodating for us, again, for which I'm eternally grateful. One thing I know for sure, is that in times of uncertainty with health issues, the time of not knowing is exhausting. They got me scheduled for an MRI with contrast the very next morning (Friday, 2/20) and scheduled me for a follow-up the next Monday, 2/23. He said they hoped to have the pathology results from the biopsy, but couldn't promise anything.

Mammogram Day

Well, I went in for the dreaded mammogram. I really haven't met any women that like having their breasts mashed, squished, pulled and contorted in ways that you would never think possible. Like I mentioned before, I've always had normal screenings, so I went in thinking I'm doing my duty, getting my mammogram done and that would be my first errand of the morning.

I left the Webb Center after my mammogram and did a run to Wal-Mart. I'm one of those shoppers that usually stocks up on stuff, I hate running out of essentials...so, did my Wal-Mart run. When I came home, I noticed there were 3 messages on our answering machine. We usually don't get that many, so, I was interested in finding out what calls I had missed. One message was for my Mom, her doctor's office trying to reach her for something, I don't even remember the 2nd message and then came the 3rd. It was a nurse from the Webb Center saying that a radiologist had reviewed my mammogram and I needed to get back with them as soon as possible. This couldn't be good , I thought...they NEVER call and leave a message like this unless something unusual has happened. So, I call back and they ask if I can come back in about an hour, for yet another mammogram (this time a diagnostic one) and for an ultrasound. Yikes, this can't be good...I try to hold it together...call a neighbor to get my kids off the bus since it's an early release day, and then I make my way back over to the hospital.

I get to the Women's Pavilion (which is actually where I had both my boys) and this is where the diagnostic breast center is. They are so nice there and very accommodating and get me right in. I put on the gown and join a bunch of other women who are anxiously awaiting their mammograms also. It's amazing how women just open up and start telling complete strangers about their breasts...dense breasts, lumpy breasts, etc...I guess it's like all the birthing stories they share...it's in our nature to just open up and chat...break the ice and relate to one another. I kind of felt out of place though...most of these other women had their appointments for a few weeks, I had about an hour's notice...things were happening fast (already) and I really didn't think anything was that wrong.

So, I do go back in for my 2nd mammogram of this day...and all I can say is "Ouch". I'm not very large breasted and I remember my chest bone hurting that night...I really don't like getting mammograms, although, I'm eternally grateful for the procedure now. After my mammogram, I go into another waiting room...this time I'm getting an ultrasound. The technician spent A LOT of time on my right breast, clicking and measuring...hmm, this can't be good...and she spent a fair amount of time on my left breast too, but nowhere as long as on my right side. Then, here's the kicker, she says she needs to go get the radiologist for her to remove my scans. I'll never forget these next few moments...so many thoughts started entering my head as I realized something pretty serious was happening, and all I truly remember hearing was God saying, "Be still and know that I am God." I believe that God takes us to places where we truly have to look to Him for comfort, peace, solace. I know He was letting me know at this early point, that He's taking me through this too and that I'm not alone.

About 15 minutes later, the technician and radiologist come back in and look at my scans and the radiologist does some more with the ultrasound. She tells me that there is some asymmetrical dense tissue on my left breast and that will need to be monitored by mammogram every 6 months. OK, I can handle that...that didn't seem too bad. But, she wasn't done. On my right side, they have found a mass almost 2 cm big that will need to come out. Is it cancer? She can't tell me that, but she did tell me that without a doubt, the mass needs to be removed. She recommend I contact my GYN's office for some suggestions for surgeons and they send me on my way. This will certainly be one of those days I'll never forget.

A little background first...

As many of you know, my husband, Dave, has been battling Myxoid Liposarcoma since July 15, 2008. He went through 6 horrific rounds of intensive chemotherapy, 25 rounds of radiation and Wednesday, March 11th, will undergo surgery to remove what's left of the tumor on his left thigh. He has been blogging about his journey and it's been amazing to see how he's reached so many people. He really did an amazing job enduring the chemotherapy, something I don't know if I could even go through. We're fortunate to live in the Atlanta area where there are specialists that deal with this rare cancer...he's got some of the best oncologists taking care of him and for that, we're so grateful.

Being Dave's wife, caregiver and a mother of two boys, Bryce, 10 and Kyle 7 1/2, has kept me quite busy, to say the least. I went in for my annual exam, October 28th, where my GYN gave me the orders to get my annual mammogram. My doctor did the usual exam, PAP smear, breast exam, etc. Everything appeared normal, my doctor was happy that I had lost weight, about 35 pounds and everything seemed fine, especially with everything I had been dealing with Dave.

For some reason, I put scheduling the mammogram off, kept telling myself that I'd get to it when things slowed down, but deep down inside, I was scared. I have had only 2 previous mammograms, never had a problem with my breasts, don't have "dense" or "lumpy" breasts and I didn't think any of it by waiting...I vaguely remember soaping up in the shower and doing a quick self exam in January and in the back of my mind thinking I had felt "something" on my right breast, but I was quick to put it out of my mind, not wanting to deal with the fact that I may have something that needed attention. I think with everything I was going through with Dave, I just couldn't bring myself to accept the fact that something else could be going on. I did get on the phone though and scheduled my mammogram, for February 12th, 2009.